It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize