OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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