How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.