saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
should my penis look like a turkey
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Wonâ€™t Believe
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time