It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
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Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
Just dont open the beer drawer.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
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Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??