all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
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Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
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I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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