so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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