Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS