My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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