The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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