I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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