Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
