I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
