What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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