i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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