..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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