we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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