"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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