dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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