Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
