Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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