i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
