I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
