Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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