Your mouth is God's brothel.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize