That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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