we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize