I like to think it a success when the cops are called
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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