I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
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Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
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By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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