please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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