I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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