i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?