i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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