Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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