Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize