Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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