There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
