The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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