I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
