Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
