i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
