we're blogging at a bar
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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