You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
