Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
