jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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