my soul wont recognize me after tonight
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
