Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
