I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
