who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.