Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube