I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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