thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
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That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
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i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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