im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Screwed.edu
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
