cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
